THANKS, UNIVERSE

This is that time of year again when newspapers and magazines are full of articles about being thankful.  Well, maybe just Readers' Digest.  Mostly it is just lots of Attitude of Gratitude stuff.  So.  I decided to put in my two bits.  Following is a list of things for which I am thankful, but not necessarily in any order of degree of thankfulness on any given day.  It is possible that these are just random thoughts.  But, this is a BLOG.
HUMOR  I value a good sense of humor right after personal honesty.  All higher beings laugh, even God.  And I know dogs laugh.  I have seen some of them do it.  My old whippet had a wicked sense of humor.
MORTALITY  Life can be such a bitch.  Sometimes I find it comforting to know that one way or another it will end.
EYES  I am a very visual person, in spite of wearing corrective lenses since I was 2 yrs old.  So, I am also very grateful for corrective lenses.  Very.
TELEPORTATION  Oh, wait.  Maybe I am getting a little ahead of myself.
CENTRAL HEATING  I really feel sorry for all those people who lived in castles or hovels before somebody invented the furnace.  Whoever that was, they deserve canonization in my book.
CHEESE  Whoever invented it, if it was, in fact, "invented", deserves sainthood.  Unless, of course, he or she was a serial killer.
SIGMUND FREUD  How would I have known that I'm normally abnormal instead of just bat-shit crazy without his insights?
MY CHILDREN  All crazy, but a different crazy than I am--makes things entertaining.
PLAID  Somebody had to have invented it.  You never see images of cave-men running around in plaid golf-shorts do you?  No, they wore fur, which nobody invented.  Well, except maybe God.  But, you can hardly canonize God.  I mean--Saint God.  How silly is that?
TOILET PAPER  'Nuf said.
NOAH'S ARK  The thought of the entire animal kingdom floating around on one little boat is very entertaining.  Besides, how else would all those children get those little Noah's Ark sets with cute little animals and Mr. and Mrs. Noah, and also all those stupid pull toys that make noises that sound like a duck or sheep going "quack" or "baa" with worn ball-bearings in their mouths?
THE NUMBER NINE  Such a cool number.  Square of 3, and multiples of itself add up to 9.  Now that's magic.
ANYBODY READING THIS  You're either suffering from way too much time on your hands or a real friend.  Thanks.
I could go on, but I am feeling better already.  You?